Michigan lawmakers last week were forced to ban one of their own from speaking on the House floor because, apparently, the use of the word “vagina” could potentially lead to the sudden, heinous, and irreversible destruction of all the moral tenets that separate humanity from the low things that root in the mud and communicate exclusively through grunts and snarls. No, I don’t mean Republicrats, but I can see where you’d think that.
Congresswoman Lisa Brown cunningly referred to the “vagina” while debating a new Michigan bill that would limit access to abortion. She was subsequently censored and banned from speaking by House Speaker Jase Boiger on the grounds that she had violated “decorum.” Because, yunno, abortion and vaginas are both kinda icky, and there is never a good reason to talk about female anatomy when debating things that relate to, um, female anatomy.
With a vow to defend the vag, Rep. Brown has teamed up with one of said anatomical bit’s staunchest supporters to wage an all out war on human decency and challenge the power of the pricks who currently control the Michigan House by rubbing their noses in a whole lotta vag. That’s right, she and the Queen of the Coochie Snorcher, Eve Ensler, will spend an afternoon performing the Tony Award-winning Vagina Monologues on the steps of the Michigan State Capitol. Lansing and the surrounding areas have been alerted to the potential that 51% of the state’s population may suddenly begin rioting when they learn that the proper name of that hairy triangulate below their belly buttons is, in fact, not officially named the “sincave,” “Satan’s doorbell,” or even a “canker blossom.”
In summation, I highly encourage all to visit this website and let Rep. Boinger, oops, I mean Boiger, know exactly how you feel about Americans, especially elected lawmakers, invoking their First Amendment rights to discuss things that could potentially rip to shreds the very fabric of social order. I mean, really, if we start accepting the vag as normal and discussing it publicly, the next thing you know, we might start thinking women should be in charge of them!
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