Decent People Don't Discuss That Thing That (Sorta) Rhymes With "Kachina"


Michigan lawmakers last week were forced to ban one of their own from speaking on the House floor because, apparently, the use of the word “vagina” could potentially lead to the sudden, heinous, and irreversible destruction of all the moral tenets that separate humanity from the low things that root in the mud and communicate exclusively through grunts and snarls. No, I don’t mean Republicrats, but I can see where you’d think that.

Congresswoman Lisa Brown cunningly referred to the “vagina” while debating a new Michigan bill that would limit access to abortion. She was subsequently censored and banned from speaking by House Speaker Jase Boiger on the grounds that she had violated “decorum.” Because, yunno, abortion and vaginas are both kinda icky, and there is never a good reason to talk about female anatomy when debating things that relate to, um, female anatomy.

With a vow to defend the vag, Rep. Brown has teamed up with one of said anatomical bit’s staunchest supporters to wage an all out war on human decency and challenge the power of the pricks who currently control the Michigan House by rubbing their noses in a whole lotta vag. That’s right, she and the Queen of the Coochie Snorcher, Eve Ensler, will spend an afternoon performing the Tony Award-winning Vagina Monologues on the steps of the Michigan State Capitol. Lansing and the surrounding areas have been alerted to the potential that 51% of the state’s population may suddenly begin rioting when they learn that the proper name of that hairy triangulate below their belly buttons is, in fact, not officially named the “sincave,” “Satan’s doorbell,” or even a “canker blossom.”

In summation, I highly encourage all to visit this website and let Rep. Boinger, oops, I mean Boiger, know exactly how you feel about Americans, especially elected lawmakers, invoking their First Amendment rights to discuss things that could potentially rip to shreds the very fabric of social order. I mean, really, if we start accepting the vag as normal and discussing it publicly, the next thing you know, we might start thinking women should be in charge of them!

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6 Replies to “Decent People Don't Discuss That Thing That (Sorta) Rhymes With "Kachina"”

  1. LauraLyn

    Omg. I didn’t even know the word existed. (Can you imagine?) So I looked it up on Wikipedia and, well, just guess. There was a picture too! Omg omg omg.

    Just imagine if our good Congresswoman had said ‘pe—‘. Now that would have been a Boinger.

  2. averyfrost93

    Argh. As a Michigander myself, this was so disheartening to hear make national headlines. How completely childish for a lawmaker to object over the clinical word ‘vagina.’ There’s nothing explicit or dirty about it!

    1. Tammy Salyer Post author

      Hi Avery, It was one of those moments in politics that left me so incredulous that I couldn’t help but make fun of it. It’s either laugh or go crazy, right? Cheers! It’s great to meet you 🙂

  3. Susan Spann

    Amazing. While I’m not one to support unnecessary use of words that make people uncomfortable, I really can’t think of a more appropriate place to mention vaginas than in a legitimate discussion of abortion issues. I think sexual issues have been unfairly censored in a lot of public arenas because people won’t use “the words” to describe what’s going on. I don’t care what side of the aisle someone stands on with regard to any of these issues – I think everyone has the right to an opinion and the right to voice it – and I think it’s absolutely wrong to censure a legislator for using a medically-proper term in a discussion of abortion issues! It’s not like she was using offensive slang.

    Makes me wonder how many of those same legislators have ever used less polite terms for female anatomy, in description of colleagues or otherwise, without fear of censure.

    1. Tammy Salyer Post author

      Agreed, Susan. Boiger’s reaction was cleary knee-jerk and not thought out, which is a bit scary considering his political position. When is silencing your opposition an acceptable recourse in a democracy?